Floop

You wrote that so good! This is going to be written poorly because I'm rushing it in between projects. The life of a working woman!

I so entirely forgive you for talking smack, it doesn't even need to be brought up. Two reasons why:
1. The people you told don't matter. I'm not sure if we talked about that yet, but if not you can ask Marina. I really just don't care. If we didn't talk about it soberly yet, we should Sunday (I have a baby naming at some point that I have to go to first... some Jewish thing).
2. I've done it. Maybe not about you (then again about you), so I know how incredibly easy it is to get swept into that culture when you are around it. I don't know why I'm being vague. When you are around these specific people, it's so easy to get wrapped up in it. Maybe it's something to do with human nature. I just added a gossiping book to my Wish List. I'd let you read it when I'm done if you buy me a house in San Jose.

Yet, while I'm all for letting go, I also readily admit that my personality makes me feel the need to say how I feel about situations. There are so many things I could and want to say to Arthur, but don't. Yet with something like cheating on my boyfriend--not saying anything to anyone doesn't really seem to make sense. I'm not ranting or bitching to people, I'm correcting an image of myself. Something I have the right to do. Just as much as I told you that you were wrong, Arthur needs to be told he is--because it has to do with me.

As far as the reseponse. Well, I don't like him. I think he has serious issues and so, yes, I am hesitant when Marina or you or anyone I know is around him. Historically it never ends well for either party and while I wish I didn't care if people talk about me, he is often a huge part of the initiation. But he can live his life, and I can live mine. We operate in such completely different and separated worlds it baffles me how and why he told anyone ANYTHING about me. I'm tired of living a life where I have to worry about what my friends are saying about me, or spending too much time fighting and being angry.

Recently I've become so close with Daisy, Kelly (the girl from Florence that I told you you would love, but she never ended up leaving New Mexico), Corey (yes, Corey), and maybe one or two other random ass people. NONE of them are truly friends with one another. We're not all one huge circle of gossip and disloyalty. Even if we were, I would never in a million years think if I turned my back, I couldn't trust them.

Working 70 hours a week leaves little time for me to care. Mix that in with not being around that group of unbelievably warped, untrustworthy renegades--I've had time to breathe. So believe me when I say: I'm so over it.

P.S. This font gets more ridiculous with every post.