Dear Betty,
I bought you an adobe inspired house in San Jose. It looks like it was molded from clay by stubby fingered monkeys. There is a lovely rose garden in the yard and the Sun sets directly into the chimney. The air outside smells like birthdays and there is a beautiful vineyard that is walking distance from the house. It's really quite nice. The only hitch is that there is a minor gnome infestation. It's rooted in the garden but slowly they infiltrated the wine cellar and pushed their way up to the attic. They are harmless creatures, but they are overtly mischievous and really can create a whirl storm of chaos.
With the house, I have purchased a short guide to aid you in dealing with these pesky gnomes. The main point illustrated in the guide is cooperation over antagonism. If you oppose them, they will make your life difficult. If you accept their antics as warm-hearted tugs of fate, your life really will become rather amusing.
I will soon write you a letter describing in greater detail the nature of these kooky gnomes. Until then, hope all is well in New York.
Do write back soon,
Marie